DPS

SO!  This morning I'm on my way to the hospital for some testing (nothing serious, just lab work).  And along I'm driving down the back roads, and thinking to myself, "MAN!  I love this car.  There is no way I'm trading it for something bigger.  Look how awesome it takes this curve at 70.  GEESH! I'm in love."  When what do I see when I come over the hill?  MoFo Popo.  DAMMIT! When I pull over, I see him get out and instantly think, "He's young, and cute.  I got this, no problem.  Ticket talked out of being issued NO PROBLEM."  Here's how it all went down:

Officer:  Good morning ma'am.

Me: Good morning Sir.  How are you this morning? *whilst batting my eyelashes*  (Bruce I love and I was just flirting to get out of this ticket, I swear!!!)

Officer:  I'm fantastic thank you for asking.  Ma'am, do you know while I pulled over?

Me:  Yes sir, I was going just a little fast *gesturing a teeny bit with my fingers*

Officer:  Yes ma'am, 71 in a 55.

Me:  Well that's what I get for rushing to the hospital.

Officer:  Ma'am, is this an emergency?

Me: (No at this point, I know I don't need to lie.  Karma is a bitch.) *sucking in air through my teeth and then closing my  eyes and looking down*  No Sir, it's not.  (dammit)

Officer:  Well then ma'am, I'm going to need to see your license and proof of insurance. (DAMMIT!  It's not a current card!!!)

Me:  Well Sir, this card is expired, but my insurance is current, I swear!  *as I lean in exposing my cleavage*  (isn't working)

Officer:  It's ok, I can look it up for you. *He winks* (WTF!)

SO it's at this point that I realize that I am indeed getting a ticket.  And then I see why.  He's on a ride along.  There's no way I'm not getting out of this ticket.  So now I'm sure you're thinking,  "OH get over it Nina!  You did the crime... blah blah blah."  But here's where it gets bad.  I get a phone call from Bruce while I'm pulled over, and here's how that goes:

Bruce:  Hey babe, whatcha doin?

Me:  Oh nothing.  Just driving to the hospital.

Bruce:  You wouldn't happen to be pulled over by a State Trooper would you?

Me:  I may or may not be having a conversation with Officer Worley.

Bruce:  Yeah, look behind you.  (DAMMIT!!!!)

Me:  *watching Bruce pass me* Yeah, I was speeding. 

Bruce:  Nina, how many times have I told you that you never go over 60 on 775???

Me:  (blah blah blah)  I know!  I gotta go.

Yeah, busted.  Twice.  In five minutes.  OH well.  I'm over it.  And at least I 5 different compliments on my BAD A$$ watch while at the hospital.

And I swear to GOD!  If I hear one more complaint about food/boredom/fighting when I get home, I will get medieval.