One of those days...

So I'm having one of those days where I want to stay in bed and do nothing. ( Some of you that know me argue, isn't that you everyday Nina? To you I say SHUT UP!)

Everyone's being pretty good. Minimal blood shed has occurred. So I decided let's add fuel to the fire and get them all hocked up on hot chocolate. It was pretty amazing nut now the kids are wired no them I say... OUTSIDE!

The moral to this story: when you want quiet, get them wired so they'll want to run outside for a good few hours, then have them come in, eat dinner and crash. So not only do you get the few hours they're outside playing, but you also only have to spend a max of an hour with them before they're ready to crash for the night n

You're. Welcome.

Required Shower Time

Did you know that there is a required shower time? Yeah, me neither. The following conversation just took place...

Eric: Joey that's sick. You didn't shower near long enough.

Joey: yes I did!

Eric: no you didn't. That shower was only three minutes long!

Jeremy: our dad is amazing enough that he can shower in a minute and a half and still be clean.

Eric: that's impossible. The required shower time is at least seven minutes. That way the hot water can wash off all the impurities and flu germs. Joey, next time try at least seven.


It's at this point that I'm crying laughing in the other room. Because Eric is LEGIT upset about this. Oh. And Eric has inherited my towel obsession from me. God forbid anyone use his towel.

Constant entertainment I tells ya!

Quote of the Day...

This quote is actually courtesy of Eric from about two weeks ago.  But it's still pretty amazing.  The set up is, Eric got into a wee bit of trouble (said in an Irish accent)and decided to reenact a scene from A Christmas Story at the end were Ralphie tackles the kid to the ground because he's tired of all the teasing. Bee Tee Dubs, Eric's cheeks are WAY cuter than Ralphie's.

Me:  Eric, I thought I told you set the example.

Eric:  Yes, you did.  But you did not specify which example I needed to set, so I chose the bad example.

Me:  Touche.

Needless to say, I now have to "specify" which example he needs to set everyday.  Below you will find the clip in which is referenced. 

I Wonder...

...If there will ever be a dinner where I will make everyone happy.  I know this isn't possible, but one can hope right?  I make lasagna, from scratch, and all I hear is... I hate lasagna.  I make this cheesy chicken noodle bake thing, from scratch, and all I hear is... Really?! 

For those of you who don't know me, I cook well.  Really well.  I also try my hardest to make things that are natural or from scratch.  But apparently, my children will never appreciate it.  Bruce swears they will once they marry some floozy who can't cook.  But that's not good enough for me.  I want them to appreciate it NOW.  I want instant gratification.

I know.  I'm being a whiny brat and I cannot and will not make everyone happy.  But hey, it's my blog, and I can cry if I want to...

BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Can We Go Swimming?

Yes.  I got asked that question yesterday. 

Jeremy:  Can we go swimming this week?

Me:  It's November.

Jeremy:  It's pretty warm outside.

Me: No.

Jeremy:  But the sun's out and it's almost 80.

Me:  It gets down to the 40s at night.  The water is cold.  No.


I called Bruce and told him.  He said, take his ass swimming.  Actually, MAKE him go swimming.  He'll learn.  I didn't take him swimming.  I really didn't feel like spending my fall vacation nursing a sick Jeremy.  But the thought made me laugh out loud.  Just thought I'd share.

Family Friday...

And no, it's not togetherness on Friday.  It was at Eric and Joey's school.  They put on these little presentation and they were amazing!  I would post the video I took of Eric doing his Polynesian Dance, but I don't want to post video of other people's children without permission.

But here are pictures of Eric and Joey from today!

Joey Representing Bolivia

Eric and some random kid in their Polynesian Get up

Shout Out...

I'd like to throw a shout out to one of my friends.  Kim, this post is for you.  She has a house full as well, and most weekends, you'll find her two boys at my house.  So yes, that makes them part mine.

Little Wyatt is one of her boys.  He's the sweetest little thing and I love that kid.  And the following is proof that he gets his sense of comedic timing from me:

Kim: Wyatt are you the angel of the family?

Wyatt: Mom you know I don't like to answer those questions.

Kim: Why?

Wyatt: Because if I say yes it might hurt my brother and Kenzie's feelings and if I say no...it would be a lie.

This is funny because 1) It's sweet.  And 2) It's true.  

 

Towels Part Deux

As many of you know, I have a thing with towels.  Some of you may remember the "great towel debate" of 2009 in which Bruce and I went back and forth via Facebook about him using my towel.  One of my greatest pet peeves is someone using my towel.  I think it's disgusting. 

BUT, I have no problem using my towel more than one time.  Some people may consider that disgusting.  I however comma feel that since I am emerging from the shower clean, I can use my towel twice maybe three times before I put it in the hamper.  I have instructed the boys to follow the grab a towel, use it, hang it on your hook, and use at least two times, if not three.  Then after said three days, place said towel in hamper.  Easy right?!

Well, last night, I have a certain 14 year old *cough cough Jeremy cough cough*, approach me and say:

Jeremy:  Mrs. Nina, may I get a new towel?  I've had this one for three weeks now.

Me:  WHAT?! 

Jeremy: I've been using this towel for three weeks.

Me:  WHY?!

Jeremy:  Because you said to use the same towel. 

Me:  Yeah, FOR THREE DAYS!  Not three weeks!

Jeremy:  Oh.

Me:  Jeremy, congratulations!  You have gotten the ridiculous question of the YEAR award. 

Bruce and I just looked at each other and laughed.  I couldn't believe it.  I think I now have to burn that towel.  It was standing on it's own.  I wanted to vomit.   *;aowrlnfcaercmaworxfjnrosif*  Sorry I DID have to vomit. 

Needless to say, we all got the towel lecture, once again.  I feel here lately that's all I do.  Lecture.  But that's another story all together.

I Like Pie!

Goofiness.  Serious Goofiness.

New Addition to the Family...

So Bruce came home with a new addition to our family.  Please allow me to introduce... Well, I don't know her name yet.  But it's a HER!  I'm so excited.  She's a little Min-Pin.  I told Bruce that if her and Poncho have puppies, we could call them PinChi's.  Wouldn't that be amazeballs!  OMG.

Anyways!  Names we have considered are... Rosita Chiquita Juanita (Rosie for short), Blossom (as in fart blossom because she freakin' reeks!) and Kaitlyn (after Kelley's daughter because she constantly wants attention).  We just kind of go back and forth with names right now.  Of course we would love input...

But Poncho... he's been a little, should we say, froggy since she showed up.  I'm sure I'll have a post about free puppies soon.

My Apologies...

Sh*t hath hit-ith the fan.  I apologize for not writing sooner.  We've just been busy as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.  But I have some good stories and pictures to add.  So stay tuned...

And It's Been a While...

Yes my friends, it has been quite a while.  I had Lasik Eye Surgery, and needed to recover, and NOT stare at a computer screen all day.  So I am in the process of updating the blog.  I have some very interesting tales to tell.  I know you will enjoy.  But for now, I leave you with the quote of the day:

Me: Hey Eric, tell Ms. Kim what happened today.

Eric:  I got a Saturday Detention.

Kim:  Eric, what happened???  You were having such a good day!

Eric:  I don't know Ms. Kim.  It just all went awry.

Yes.  Only my child would talk like his in a Shakespeare play .

I'm a Little Disappointed

So, I took Jeremy to get his eye brows waxed.  And I was expecting this major production.  I did NOT get one. I was all excited.  I was thinking, "I'm going to get amazing video."  And he didn't even flinch.  Sad. Face.  But I'm posting the video anyway.  (Even though I told him I wouldn't; what kind of surrogate mother would I be if I didn't???)

That. Just. Happened.

The following just took place:

Justin:  Mom, for some strange reason I've been craving apple juice.

Me:  Are you pregnant?

Justin:  Mom, if you weren't a lady I'd punch you right now.

Me:  Justin, if you weren't a lady I'd punch YOU right now.

Justin:  When dad gets home, I'm totally punching him in the balls and telling him to thank you.

Joey:  I'm gonna go punch Jeremy in the balls RIGHT NOW.

Me: There will be no ball punching!

Justin and Joey:  Awe man!

I love these boys.  It's pretty fun around here. 

Keepin' It Old School

It's been a while since I've posted an update.  We've been pretty busy.  I've also been trying to not spend so much time on the computer and actually "be there" for the kids...LOL. 

I wanted to share a conversation that my friend Kim and I had this morning.  While making a nice breakfast this morning, I get a couple of complaints about what I'm making (Bee Tee Dubs, I made crescent rolls stuff with nutella and apples with cinnamon and sugar; pretty amazing if I do say so myself).  Anyways, we were saying that when we were kids, if we ever talked back, or complained about food, etc., we would have woken up the next day.  I asked her, if she thinks the kids have changed that much?  She brought up a very good point.  It's the PARENTS who have changed.  It's the parenting styles that have changed. 

I happen to agree with this.  Parenting styles have changed, and not for the better.  As for me and my house hold, we are keeping it old school.  And I think that's why my children have lived as long as they have. 

So, I'm starting a parenting campaign.  I'm calling it, "Keepin' It Old School".  Your child complains about dinner?  Let 'em starve.  You're child doesn't want to clean his room?  Take everything out of it.  I think you all see where I'm going with this.  Parents of the world unite!  Let's take back control of the situation.  Don't be afraid to slap a child in the face if they tell you to f*ck off.  IJS.

Apple Nutella Rolls

On the lighter side of life, here is a picture of the DEE LISH breakfast.  They tasted Uh-May-Zing.

Ask The Boys...

...What happens when you slam a door in my house.  I'm pretty sure they'll tell you that the door comes off the hinges.  And no one will have a door.  Sure, it was only Justin that slammed the door.  But when the other three are the ones starting the argument, everyone loses the privilege of having a door. 

You're welcome boys.  You're. Welcome.

Drama for Your Mama...

ANNNNNNDDDDD.... I'm done. 

If I didn't not believe that selective hearing is something genetically inherited by boys, I do now.  Trying to get ahead of the game in this house, is never going to happen.  I should just resign myself to the fact that I will continue to have the following arguments:

1.  My house will never be clean again.
2.  The boys will not listen when I tell them to go ahead and get ready for the next day by getting clothes laid out, and packing lunches.  Yet, still miraculously ending up taking MORE time in the morning and irritating me more.
3.  I will constantly be interrupted when I am RIGHT in the middle of lecturing another child.  I wish they would just realize that no matter what they say, I am always right.  And no amount of argument will change my mind.  OH!  And you're the kid.  Not the adult.
4.  Bruce and I have pretty much done all there is to do to get in trouble, so please don't try and hide whatever it is that you're getting in trouble for at school.  It won't work.
5.  Yes.  That's what's for dinner.  Eat it or starve. 
6.  Knock. On. My. Door.  Do NOT just walk in.  And NO!  I do NOT have to knock on your door.  This is MY house.

There are so many more, but these are the ones that are CURRENTLY plaguing me.  I just needed to vent. 
Thank you and have a great weekend!
NJ

Camo Day!

"SPARTA!"

"Team Amazeballs"

Joey, Eric and I had a blast at school today with Camo Day!  I totally rocked the camo.  Joey also dubbed us Team Amazeballs (you're welcome Kathy and Christian).  And I might add, we are pretty amazeballs.

Hijinks at the Fantastic Sams

After Hair Cuts

It was haircut day at our house today.  I really think they dread us all coming in there.  They really cringe...LOL.  Well, everyone looks "fantastic".  And we took a couple of videos whilst waiting on Jeremy, because he had the poor lady go back two times to "fix" something.  At least the boy knows what he wants. 

Anyways!  Enjoy the goofiness!

Quote of the Day...

We were all riding around in the car trying to figure out where we were going to eat tonight.  We were going to try and go to Olive Garden, but the wait was LONG.  So driving around, I mentioned Big Lou's; which is the best and biggest pizza EVER. 

The following then took place:

Me:  How about Bravo India Golf  Lima Oscar Uniform?

Bruce:  No.  Jeremy doesn't like pizza.

Justin:  You mean Big Lou's???  YES!!! Let's go! 

Joey:  What's Big Lou's?

Justin:  Only the best pizza EVER!

Eric:  YES!!!  LET'S GO!!!

Bruce:  No we can't.  Jeremy doesn't like pizza.

Joey:  You suck Jeremy!

Collective:  HAHAHAHA!

Joey:  I'm sorry that wasn't nice.  Let me rephrase that.  You suck balls Jeremy.

Me and Bruce:  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Me:  Joey, that wasn't nice. 

Joey:  Well, it's true. 


Yup.  That would be your child, Kathy.  LOL!!!!!!!

Trading Rules...

The following conversation took place this morning:

Eric, Joey and I are getting out of the car.

Eric:  *grabbing the umbrella* Hey mom, remind me when we get the blue car back that I left my green umbrella in the trunk.

Me:  Well, we won't be getting the blue car back, but I grabbed your umbrella.  So don't worry. *smiles*

Eric:  Why won't we get the blue car back???

Me:  Because I traded it for the new one. 

Eric:  So we won't get it back???

Me:  No, honey.  Sorry!

Joey:  Yeah, when you trade something for something, you don't get it back.  I learned that with Pokemon cards.  Rules is rules.

Me:  HAHAHAHAHAHA! Truth. 

I. Love. Crock Pots.

Just wanted to throw a little shout out to my crock pot.  He made life so easy today.  All I had to do was throw some ribs and some spices in him and he made some DELISH ribs that fell right off the bone.  And I didn't hear one complaint. 

Thank you crock pot.  Thank. You.

Lazy...

Would be the exact word I would use to describe boys.  They. Are. LAZY! 

Would it hurt you to pick that Shhh...stuff up off the table that you left there?
Would it hurt you to pick up that dirty pair of underwear off the floor in the bathroom?
Would it kill you to rinse out the sink after brushing your teeth (if they brush them at all)?

These are just a few of the things that are bugging the absolute piss outta me.  For those of you who know me well, you know that I may, or may not, have a tendency to be a bit of a clean freak.  Well, I'm fighting a loosing battle.  I will never win.  Ever.  My house is destined to be a complete mess for the next 8 months. 

So, if you decide to pop by for a "surprise" visit, please don't judge me.  It's going to be a mess.  It's going to smell.  And I'm probably going to be drinking.

That is all.

ATTENTION JOEY'S PARENTS...

You will be so proud of your little boy today.  The Librarian told me that she has never been so proud of a student before.  A little boy dropped $20 at the book fair today, and Joey picked it up and returned it.  There is such a shortage of honest children in the world, and you should be proud that Joey is among them.

I'm a little teary eyed right now.  I'm not even sure Eric would return it...LOL!

ANYWAYS!  Be proud.  Be very, very proud.  I know I am.  You have done well with him.  I hope I can nurture this behavior.  I know I'm trying.

"Shirtless Saturday"

Today has apparently been deemed "Shirtless Saturday"  and the boys are now the "Shirtless Squad".  I'm so excited....... They are now all running around singing "Bottoms Up".  I've never been more proud as a parent as I am, Right. Now. (yes, that was sarcasm)

Achilles Heel...

Possible example of my "before" cabinet

We all have our Achilles Heel, mine just happens to be my Tupperware cabinet. You open it, shiiii... stuff falls out.  I clean it out all the time, but it inevitably ends up the same way.  Stuff. Falling. Out. On. The. Floor. 

Well, tonight, I was getting ready to put away food, and I walk over to the cabinet with defeat in my hear.  But when I open the door, what do I see, but organization?!  Someone had cleaned the cabinet out!  It was beautiful!  More so than when I do it! 

Jeremy had cleaned out the cabinet for me.  I'm not gonna lie, I cried.  I hate that thing almost as much as I hate mopping, and it was done for me.  Sometimes it's the little things guys.  Needless to say, Jeremy and Justin (because apparently he "helped") got a sweet treat. 

I love these kids.

Progress Report, Part Deux

I want to take a moment to tell the world how proud I am of Justin.  He has worked his little booty (nod to National Talk Like a Pirate Day) to get A's and B's.  He has fought through his dyslexia and really shown a great deal of improvement.  I couldn't be more proud if I were twins.

On another note, Jeremy should be receiving his report tomorrow.  Duh duh duh duh!!!

Progress Reports

I am proud to report that the 4th graders living in my house are geniuses. 
You're welcome, Universe. 
You're. Welcome.

Eric's Progress Report

Joey's Progress Report

Axe...

There was one point in my life where I thought that the smell of Axe body wash smelled really good.  Well folks, no more.  With the two older boys using Axe body wash and deodorant, I now want to PUKE every time I smell it.  It's everywhere.  And it's not just Axe, it's Axe mixed with boy.  And it does NOT smell good.

Now, the rest of my house is starting to smell like Axe, Boy (which consists of feet, ass and hormones), and pumpkin scented plug-ins (because I am desperate to get this smell out of my nostrils). I don't know what to do.  Short of bleaching my house from top to bottom, I am at a loss.  So any suggestions on how to rid my house of the smell Baxe (axe+boy) would be greatly appreciated.

In the mean time, enjoy this commercial, brought to you by Axe...

Mother Father, Sister Brother...

I hate going to the store.  HATE. IT.  But add four boys to the mix, and I really just want to commit Harry Caray.  All the grabbing and constant getting in other people's way, and then the, "Can we have this?  Can we have that?"  OH. Em. GEEEEEE!!!!

I know I've said I'll never take all four of them to the store ever again, but I really had no choice today.  And I truly thought that they would heed my "mideval" warning.  But apparently *cussing* not.  Words that I say go in one ear and out the other. 

AND THEN.  There's dinner.  I made Buffalo Chicken in the crock pot.  I even used the "mild" sauce. 

Boys:  It's spicy.  It's too hot.

Me:  Man up.

Eric:  What's that spicy I taste?

Me:  American. 

Bruce:  *Getting all scientific talking about  capsaicin*

Me:  It's called being Texan.  Eat it.

Moral of the story, suck it up.  And that includes me.  

 

Am I a Bad Parent...

... because I consider watching "How I Met Your Mother" spending quality time with the boys???  I don't think it's bad.  We just enjoy it so much!  And Justin thinks Barney Stinson is the man (yes I should probably discourage this heroism). 

Anyways, back to the Parent-of-the-Year Awards, I stand by my "quality time".  We all laugh, we all cry, and then we laugh some more.  What more could a parent want?  Sounds of joy from their children. 

Dear Ms. Kim...

Thank you for taking Justin and letting him have some time away.  His voice when he called me a little while ago really lifted my heart. 

Justin:  Hey Mom!  Guess what we just saw?

Me:  What baby?

Justin:  A double rainbow all the way!  And now we're hunting snakes.  I'm having SO MUCH FUN!  Thank you for letting me get away!! 

Me:  I'm glad baby.

*tear*  I love this kid.  He's been such a trooper.  Everyone should have a kids this great. I feel sorry for you if your kids aren't this cool. 

And Kim, I don't care what Kary says about you, you're alright.  :D

I Spoke Too Soon...

Some of us mothers choose to walk in the evening to vent to other girlfriends about our day.  I am one of those mothers.  My favorite part of the day is when I get to walk with my friends and vent.  So, I left today on this adventure thinking, I'll go for a quick walk and then come home and finishing cleaning... blah blah blah... whatever. 

I enjoy my walk with Michelle, and return home.  To find complete chaos.  Well, not that the kids were running around and being crazy or anything.  But Justin was just in tears.  And I'm not one for tears.  So, I find out that Justin and Jeremy had a bit of a disagreement, which included the hitting shiiii... crap, that I mentioned in the "Come to Jesus Meeting".  Well, needless to say, I had ANOTHER Come to Jesus Meeting with just the two of them. 

I don't know if when I speak, the words coming out of my mouth sound like Chinese?  Or if they really choose to just not give a damn.  But I think now, they know, without a doubt, that I will beat the shiiii... I will lay hands to Jesus on the next person who touches the other.  I was actually quite calm about the situation.  I am very proud of myself.  So, of course I take to this blog to share my feelings, because I really just want to punch someone in the face.  With that being said... GOOD NIGHT.

Get. Out. Side.

... Is what I just told the boys.  They need to get outside and be boys.  No more watching TV and playing video games (it's SO quiet now!).  Plus it gives me time to reflect upon today.  Nothing really interesting happened today.  And I'm going to inform you that I'm OK with it being quiet today.

However comma the evening is still young.  I'm sure some kind of hijinks will occur; Soon.  

After School Follies...

After school, the boys have about 25 minutes to hang out until I'm done with work.  So they hang out in the Library.  Apparently today, the young ones decided to show their ass.  Running around and causing havoc in their wake.  Let me also mention that I have two extra, as I am responsible for Kim's boys today as well. 

So, when the boys came to the office in preparation to go home, I the younger ones line up on the wall.

Homey Don't Play

They stood there until I was ready to go home.  I'm not playing reindeer games anymore.  When we got home, they each got to write a whole page of sentences stating, " I will respect the Librarian."   Again, Homey don't play.  They know the rules.  And they chose to ignore them.

My favorite part will be when Eric gets to put all his legos in a trash bag and I put the trash bag in the trash/garage because that sh*t is expensive.  And I may have Joey add his while they're at it, because I warned both of them last week about acting up in the Library. 

This all may sound harsh to some of you, but if I don't stay on top of these kiddos, they will run all over me.  And "Homey the Clown"  Don't. Play. 

Come to Jesus Meeting...

Last night we had a Come to Jesus Meeting.  It was pretty amazing.  We did the usual threatening techniques.  And some new ones.  I even had bullet notes so I wouldn't forget to hit all the points I wanted to make. Basically, what it boils down to is...
1.  No one is the boss of anyone, except me.
2.  No one can put their hands on anyone in a violent way, except me.
3.  No one slams doors in this house, except me.
4.  And no one can scream in this house, except me.

I think they get it now.  It's been pretty calm today.  Maybe it's because we ventured out to Chuck E. Cheese today (two hours of my life and $60 I will never get back).  But at least they all had fun.

Anyways, my favorite part of the meeting was when Bruce said that he had no problem letting everyone sleep on the front porch if they couldn't follow these simple rules.  Then he turns to Eric and says:

Bruce:  Eric, tell these boys how it feel to sleep on the front porch?  (Back fill on this story... one night Eric was screaming for some reason I don't really remember, and I told him to grab a sleeping bag and a pillow and go sleep on the porch if he wanted to act like that; so he did; only for five minutes, but it was very effective)

Eric:  *sniff sniff* It was the worst day of my life.

Me:  *grabbing my note pad that I took notes on and throwing it up in my face so he couldn't see me laughing*

Bruce: *giving me the stink eye*

Bruce also threatened to have them all out back cutting the grass.  With scissors.  It was amazing.

I'm sure we won't have anyone sleeping on the porch.  And I'm pretty sure they all have a healthy fear of Bruce now. And hopefully I won't have to lay hands to Jesus over the situation. 

I Am a GOOD Mother

I went and bought cupcakes at my favorite cupcake place today.  I bought six.  One for each of us.
Two strawberry, two lemon, one chocolate, and one vanilla.  The only thing I wanted in life was that lemon cupcake.  I had been thinking about it all day, through dinner, and pretty much all week. 

When it came time to eat them, I asked each little person what they wanted.  Joey and Eric wanted strawberry.  No problem.  The problem came when Justin and Jeremy both wanted lemon.  So what do I do, I sacrifice my lemon so that both boys could have a lemon cupcake.  I am a good mother.  Does that mean that I can have an extra glass of wine? 

I'm living this... Right now.

Why do I keep getting ugly looks when I say, "Get your ass outside!"  I mean, we could only play outside.  And use our *imagination* (said in sponge bob's voice). 

Get outside and play.  Yes, it's hot outside.  But you will live.  Go ride a bike.  Go play catch, tag, or some sh*t like that.  Don't stay in my house and complain that there's nothing to do because I won't let you play video games on school nights.  Get over yourself and go be a kid. 

That is all.

Corrections...

Is anyone else tired of kids correcting them?  I know I am.  I'm pretty sure I've gotten through life this far and I do not need another person correcting.  I have my mother, father, father-in-law, husband and sisters that constantly think that it's OK to correct me.  And for the most part I'm OK with that.  But teenagers and pre-teens need to recognize that I'm going to get absolutely MEDIEVAL if they correct me, ONE. MORE. TIME.

I don't care if you think you know better.  I don't care if you think that I'm wrong. Know that from this moment on, I am ALWAYS right.  And if you know what's good for you, you will keep you big mouth shut.

OK, now that I have that off my chest, I feel a little better. 

Now for that drink!

Ice Cream Silence...

What's the one thing that can silence all?  These things right here. -------------------->

I got a box, and the boys all had one.  Bruce walked in from outside and looked around the room, and the only thing he could do is laugh.  He said it was the most quiet he's heard the house since the boys got here.

*Side note*
Joey was WAY into eating his.  It was totally cute.  I wish I had my camera with me, I should have recorded his tryst with the drumstick.

*Side note 2*
 The drumstick is totally under appreciated and underrated.  I forgot how amazeballs they are. 

Communism...

I live with a bunch of communists.

First off, no one, except Joey who is most definitely American, wants cheese on their burger!  Who are these people living with me???  Then there's Jeremy.  This young has informed that he does not like the following:

Pizza
Cheese
and wait for it...

BACON.

Let's all take a moment.......................................................................................

I really don't know how to handle this.  I'm a little out of my league here.  Bacon is candy from the gods.  It's food jewelry.  I think I just need to take a moment to process this information.  I'm sure I'll become accustom to living with Communists; hopefully sooner rather than later.

Credit for this Photo goes to Brandi.

Quote of the Day...

Goes to Jeremy...

Joey:  Hey Jeremy, I need help with something.

Jeremy:  Yes, Madam Josephine!

Joey:  You're so dead.

I couldn't make this stuff up, folks.

This. Is. Amazing.

And totally my influence...

He sort of reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite here.

Woman's Work...

Today after school, Justin went with Kim to pick up her daughter from Daycare.  Of course, Justin wants to go with her, because Kenzie is his girl.  So, when Kim gets back she proceeds to tell me a story.  Here it is:

Kim:  So Justin, how's things going?

Justin:  Oh my gosh, Jeremy is constantly telling me what to do.  He just nags, and nags and nags just like a woman. And I told him that he acts like a woman.  So now, when he tells me something, I look at him and say, "Thank you ma'am!"

Kim: *LOL*

This is honestly, the best story I have ever heard.  Justin definitely takes after his mother.  In a very good way.  

Then, after Justin comes home, the following happens:

Me:  Justin, I love you.

Justin:  What?

Me:  I love you!

Justin:  Why?

Me:  I just love you, that's all.

Justin:  You're scaring me!  Wait... Are you blogging this???

Me and Kim:  *LOL*

Proud Parenting Moment of the Day:
Eric doing air guitar to "Sweet Home Alabama". 

Border Wars...

Justin asked to watch "Border Wars", without Bruce being here.  I'm a little scared.  I'm sitting here watching all four boys watch Border Wars.  I don't know if I should be proud, or worried. 

Quote of the day goes to Eric...

Eric:  Hey Mom, can we go to Scotland so that I can see the Loch Ness?

Me:  Well, that's kind of far away, being that it's in Europe and all.  It might be a while before we can go.

Eric:  I just really want to see the Loch Ness.

Me:  Do you know what "Loch" means?

Eric:  Sheeeyeah!  *while saying this in a British accent*  It means "Lake" in Scottish.  Oh, and mom... Harry Potter. 

Me:  *laughing my butt off*  Eric, just for that, I'll make sure we go to Scotland. ASAFP. 

Old School...

The boys got a lesson on Old School Rap this afternoon.  While in the office after school, I started singing "I Missed the Bus".  I thought SURELY, someone remembers this song.  But alas, no one remembered it.  Then we we got home, I heard Joey singing, "I missed the bus, I missed the bus" but I realized they had never heard the actual song.  So I played it for them.  Now everyone is singing, "I missed the buss".  It's pretty amazing.  And my favorite part was while the video was playing, Joey says:  "Miss Nina, did they really miss the bus?"  I love these kids.

First Week of School...

Well ladies and gents, we survived the first week of school.  The boys really like their teachers and I really love where I work.  So, I shall celebrate with my best friend and the boys got subway.  And no one lost their life.  Here's to not killing anyone!!

Those. Little. B@stards.

I'm at work doing interesting office things.  And I go to grab a paper clip.  THIS is what I find...

They're all grounded.

Quote of the Day...

Nothing really new to report.  But I will share with you all the quote of the day.  Credit goes to Justin...

Joey:  Ms. Nina, may I sit in the front? *talking about the truck*

Me:  Let me survey the situation first.

Justin:  *pointing to his stomach*  You mean THIS situation?

LMAO!  He sure has a great sense of comedic timing.

Morning Drop Off...

Was it necessary to blare "Baby Got Back" while dropping Justin and Jeremy off at the Junior High this morning?  Probably not.  However comma it WAS completely necessary to shout all the words while blaring it.  Just sayin.

Someone Turned 9 Today!

So today is Joey's 9th Birthday.  As many of you know, my family does not celebrate birthdays.  But I think I was able to balance my families beliefs and Joey's beliefs very nicely.  He got to skype with his dad and open his presents that he and his nana and grandpa sent, while Christian watched. 

Joey talking with Christian

Joey talking with Kathy and Dan

Then he got to do the same with his mom and Dan.  It was really cool.  I really do think that Skype is the coolest thing on the whole damn planet.  I really don't know what all these Military Families would do without it. 

All in all, a good day.  Some funny stuff always goes down.  I think the quote of the day goes to Eric (and sorry to those of you who already read this on Facebook):

Got out of the car this morning and Eric grabs my hand.
Me: I love that you still want to hold my hand.
Eric: it's just so I don't get run over.
Joey: dude. There's no cars.
Eric: you never know.
*then Eric drops my hand when we get to the side walk*
Me: sadface
Eric: *grabs my hand again* OK! But only until we get inside the school.
Lol!

OH!  Two quotes of the Day thanks to Justin:

Justin:  Hey Dad.  Eric invited Ms. Melanie for dinner. But don't worry, it was a mom-approved message.

 

 

First Day of School Follies...

 

 

 

Crazy Kiddos!

So the first day of school was today.  I think it went well for the boys.  I have attached photos and stories that the boys brought home...

Joey's Story:

I had fun in my class, fun in recess and fun in everything.  Mrs. Terry was good. 
(LOL)

Justin's Story:

It was AWESOME.  I had a great time.  My favorite class is going to be Pre-AP Science.  I LOVED it.  My teacher had us pick an animal that we can identify with.  I chose a rabid squirrel, because I'm crazy and like to eat nuts.

Me:  Huh huh you said you like to eat nuts. Huh huh!

Justin:  That's not what I meant!  I meant I like to eat squirrel nuts.

Me:  Huh huh, you like to eat squirrel nuts huh huh!

Justin:  Yeah, you got me on this.  Good.

 Jeremy's Story:

(He went through every class and I started losing track, because this kid can talk LOL but here's what I took away)
So, I think I'm going to like all my classes.  I made four friends today, and I think I'm going to like it there!  All my teachers seem pretty cool, but I'm worried about my History teacher; she seems like she might not take any of my crap.  (LOL)

Eric's Story:

So mom, I walk in, and pick someone and say, "Hey, do you like Lego Ninjago?"  And he said, "YES!"  So then we decided that we should be friends.  And you know what else?  Coy's in my class, and he's only one of my best buds.  This is going to be AWESOME. 






Favorite Quote of the day:

Me:  Hey Jeremy, I have brown paper bags if you want to use those instead of a bag.

Jeremy:  Yeah, I'll take a sack.

Justin:  Huh huh huh Sack. 

T.V.

I haven't watched TV in forever.  It's not really that important.  I'm one of those that I love to read, so TV is not really that big of a deal.  But sometimes, I like to watch HGTV, or something girly.  Well, apparently, that's never going to happen again.  EVER.

My best friend

I got home from the school this afternoon to watch Thor.  Which, yes, I like it.  But now I get to watch Captain America.  Which I'm sure I'll enjoy.  But then we're watching Iron Man.  Which, I also enjoy.  BUT, and this is a BIG BUT (huh huh big butt huh huh), I'm tired of watching Super heroes.

I want decorating.  And I want Julia Roberts.  And I'm never going to see them ever again.  At least I got Eric to make me some popcorn.  And I have my best friend sitting next to me. *picture shown*

I guess I'll just sit here and play on Pinterest.

UPDATE:  Bruce just stole my popcorn.  He is now dead to me.

UPDATE 2: Bruce just took my wine.  I think it's time to start divorce proceedings. 

The IHOP Experience

Justin and Jeremy

Eric and Joey with an AMAZING server

Bruce and I decided to surprise the boys with IHOP today.  It was quite the experience.  I don't think I've ever seen so much food on one table.  And what impressed me the most was our waitress.  She was amazing.  She memorized every item the boys threw at her; and brought every item correct the first time. 

After IHOP, was a trip to Target.  Have you ever taken four boys to Target?  It actually wasn't that bad.  Maybe it was the treat of beatings in the car before entering the store, but all in all, a good trip.

Favorite part of the day...
Skipping through Target singing "Call Me Maybe" while the boys hold their ears ad attempt to walk through Target with their eyes closed.  I love embarrassing them.  It's the highlight of my day.

Pool Time

Joey

 

Justin and Eric

Just some pictures from today's swimming experience.

Favorite Quote of the evening...

Justin: *climbing on the rope*

Bruce:  Son, be careful.  I'd hate to have to scrape you off the bottom of the pool.

Justin

Justin:  I won't jump from this high.  Last time I did I really hurt my nuts.

Jeremy

Towels...

Yes.  I'm about to blog about towels.  Mother *editing* towels.  I have about 15 towels in my spare/kids bathroom.  And all of them are GONE.  They just disa-*editing*-peared.  I have no idea where these towels are, but I'm about to ago ape sh*t if they aren't found.

Bee Tee Dubs... I know where they are, but why I was all of them on Monday, and they're all gone by Friday is beyond me.  SO, guess what the boys are doing RIGHT NOW as I type this?  Hunting and gathering towels.  Then they are placing them in the washing machine.

Bruce:  Well, what do we do about swim towels now?

Me:  They can air dry.

I'm Done.

I Got the Day Off...

Since I have worked late the last couple of nights, it's been really quiet for me.  BUT BRUCE on the other hand got to experience some boy time tonight.

All I know is, I call home and hear...

Bruce:  These boys have no consideration for other people's feelings!  They have incurred the wrath of Bruce!  And will suffer the consequences!! 

Me:  Well, babe I think you need to calm your bears.

Bruce:  HELL. NO.  They will learn not to *edit* with me.  That's the last *editing* straw.  I can't even take a *editing* nap.  *EDIT*!

Me:  OK babe.  I love you!

Bruce:  I LOVE YOU TOO.  (yes shouty capitals)

And then later...

Bruce:  I've calmed down now.

Me:  I'm glad.  You know they've been cooped up the last few days while we work.  They probably need to get out.

Bruce:  Yeah, that's what I think too.  So tomorrow, I'm gonna wear their @$$es out.


I love my husband.  He makes me giggle.

Meet the Teacher

Joey and Mrs. Terry

So, tonight was Meet the Teacher Night for Joey and Eric.  They have AMAZING teachers.  I'm so excited for them. 

School Supply Cake

As some of you know, I am the ultimate kiss ass.  So of course I made Eric's teacher a little I'm-sorry-in-advance gift.  I.AM. AWESOME.  Look at that craftsmanship.


My favorite part of the evening was when we were walking around the school and Joey saw a parent.  His exact words were:

Joey:  Hey Nina, that guy bore a striking resemblance to an older version of Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.

Eric:  Oh my GAWD.  He does!  AWESOME!

I. Just. Died.  It was amazing.  I love these kids... most of the time.  ;D

UPDATE:  Taking this in to the school.  People stop and say  "OOO" and "AWE".  I tell them it's my suck up gift.  Eric then proceeds to say.. "Yeah, she's gonna need it. Hahahaha!"

That.  Little. Shiitake Mushroom.

Slap Happy Disappointments

So today was a long day.  Not a bad day, just a long day.  And I'm so punch drunk and slap happy from lack of sleep and work, that God forbid anyone trip in front of me right now, because I would totally bust out laughing.  But ANYWAY!  I had plans on getting home and taking the boys to Subway.  Well, I just got home like five minutes ago.  And needless to say, that's not happening.  Bruce got home before me and told them to just junk out.  Do what you want.  (wow.)

I walk in from work, sure that I was going to get a WTF from all the boys.  But the first thing that happens is, Justin grabs me and says,  "Mom, I'm sorry you had a long day."  And he just hugged me.  I about started crying.  I really do have human beings for children.  And they're really sweet ones!  And then he made a fart sound and broke that happy moment.  (yeah I totally laughed out loud too)

The moral of this story is, no one was upset and no one made a big deal.  They all were agreeable and understanding.  Which is the complete opposite reaction I was ready to walk into.  So, to all you mothers, and mothers mothers, they aren't always like this, but when they are, those moments are so sweet.  Cherish them.

I So Love...

... that Jeremy calls Joey Josephine.  It really tickles me pink.  Now, poor Joe is called Josephine by everyone in the house.  I should really feel bad, but I don't...LOL. 

Also, all the boys are into saying, "That's what she said".  So after everything I get to hear the phrase I once coined as "my catch phrase".  I guess this is my karma. 

Sunday Funday

Today started out pretty normal for Sunday.  Me being all lazy and junk.  Bruce had to work, so I really procrastinated.  But I eventually awoke and readied for the busy day.  Shopping.  Haircuts.  Cleaning.  All sorts of fun stuff. 

So, what I did instead?  Woke the boys of to the tunings of Carley Rea Jepsen.  Yes ladies ad gents.  I blared "Call Me Maybe" on my surround sound.  It. Was. Amazeballs.  They all woke up screaming and running around.  They even ran out side in order to seek asylum.  Then I moved o to the musical stylings of Justin Beeber and Jessie McCartney.  It was pretty amazing.  I now know what I have to do to clear the house of boys.  Play nothing but "girly" music. 

We then moved on to dancing to other music and getting nothing done.  But it was a BLAST.  We danced around the house and the boys had fun, I think.  They really got into "I'm On a Boat" (edited version).  I'm talking on the couches and everything.  Normally, I would be all "GET OFF THE FRENCHING COUCH!!!"  But I couldn't help but laugh.  They were too funny.  I will be getting this on video.  Soon.  So stay tuned for video proof of this.

Other than that, I eventually got the kitchen cleaned and laundry done.  The only thing left to do is mop.  My arch nemesis. I  HATE mopping.  I would rather cut off two of Bruce's favorite things about me instead of mopping.  I LOATH IT.  Yes, I could get one of the childrens to do it.  But I'm so OCD about it, that I would end up redoing it anyway.  But oh well. 

So, this week will be interesting.  We are going to try and get everyone o schedule for school.  I should get some great stories out of this adventure.  Until next time... Good time and good luck.

This evening...

In honor of cooking dinner at 8:30 in the evening.  And Justin losing his LAST baby tooth, I decided that I will have two glasses of wine.  No more.  No less.  (I am not mentioning how much this glass holds in order to keep the judgment to a minimum.)

Half-Bottle Glass

Dinner really was good though.  And I'm still not used to the fact that I never have left overs anymore.  Eric also asked me to inform "the world on your blog" that I made his favorite kind of chicken tonight.  He calls it "Italian Chicken".  I don't know why he calls it Italian Chicken.  There is nothing Italian about it.  In fact, it only has three spices in it.  But you guys know better than to assume I would put any recipe on here, knowing full well what a recipe hog I am.

Well universe, good night.  And may you all have a pleasant Saturday night.  I know mine will include trying to scrub the smell of SH*T out of my couch. 

What. Is. That. Smell?!

This was a story I meant to post yesterday.  But time got away from me, and I felt it more important to get some much needed girly firend time with Kim.

I come home from work.  And I walk in the house.  Then it hits me.  SMELL.  W.T.F. is that smell???  I express these stetiments verbally?

Me:  What is that smell???

Collective:  What smell?

Me:  You don't smell that???

Jeremy:  Smells fine in here to me.

Justin:  No idea what you're talking about mom.

Me:  *walking around the house sniffing* (Trash can is fine.  My bathroom is fine.  Believe it or not the boys bathroom is ... ok)  Where is this smell coming from???

Justin:  Probably the couch.  We had a farting contest earlier.

Me: (I'm going to vomit) I'm going to Kim's.  Call me if you need me.

My house is going to smell permanently of feet and ass by the end of all of this.  I can feel it.

18,000...

...Is the number of cups that are sitting on my dining room table when I come home from work today.  It seems as if every time they get something to drink, they get a new cup.  This needs to be remedied.  Seriously. 

Guess what Jeremy and Justin's chores are now... Dishes.  Done.

DPS

SO!  This morning I'm on my way to the hospital for some testing (nothing serious, just lab work).  And along I'm driving down the back roads, and thinking to myself, "MAN!  I love this car.  There is no way I'm trading it for something bigger.  Look how awesome it takes this curve at 70.  GEESH! I'm in love."  When what do I see when I come over the hill?  MoFo Popo.  DAMMIT! When I pull over, I see him get out and instantly think, "He's young, and cute.  I got this, no problem.  Ticket talked out of being issued NO PROBLEM."  Here's how it all went down:

Officer:  Good morning ma'am.

Me: Good morning Sir.  How are you this morning? *whilst batting my eyelashes*  (Bruce I love and I was just flirting to get out of this ticket, I swear!!!)

Officer:  I'm fantastic thank you for asking.  Ma'am, do you know while I pulled over?

Me:  Yes sir, I was going just a little fast *gesturing a teeny bit with my fingers*

Officer:  Yes ma'am, 71 in a 55.

Me:  Well that's what I get for rushing to the hospital.

Officer:  Ma'am, is this an emergency?

Me: (No at this point, I know I don't need to lie.  Karma is a bitch.) *sucking in air through my teeth and then closing my  eyes and looking down*  No Sir, it's not.  (dammit)

Officer:  Well then ma'am, I'm going to need to see your license and proof of insurance. (DAMMIT!  It's not a current card!!!)

Me:  Well Sir, this card is expired, but my insurance is current, I swear!  *as I lean in exposing my cleavage*  (isn't working)

Officer:  It's ok, I can look it up for you. *He winks* (WTF!)

SO it's at this point that I realize that I am indeed getting a ticket.  And then I see why.  He's on a ride along.  There's no way I'm not getting out of this ticket.  So now I'm sure you're thinking,  "OH get over it Nina!  You did the crime... blah blah blah."  But here's where it gets bad.  I get a phone call from Bruce while I'm pulled over, and here's how that goes:

Bruce:  Hey babe, whatcha doin?

Me:  Oh nothing.  Just driving to the hospital.

Bruce:  You wouldn't happen to be pulled over by a State Trooper would you?

Me:  I may or may not be having a conversation with Officer Worley.

Bruce:  Yeah, look behind you.  (DAMMIT!!!!)

Me:  *watching Bruce pass me* Yeah, I was speeding. 

Bruce:  Nina, how many times have I told you that you never go over 60 on 775???

Me:  (blah blah blah)  I know!  I gotta go.

Yeah, busted.  Twice.  In five minutes.  OH well.  I'm over it.  And at least I 5 different compliments on my BAD A$$ watch while at the hospital.

And I swear to GOD!  If I hear one more complaint about food/boredom/fighting when I get home, I will get medieval.